Caring is Cool

I think it's funny. We're all trying to achieve the same thing (happiness), all trying to figure out the same thing (why are we here) and yet we're constantly miserable and at odds with one another.

There has to be some humour in that right? I'd like to think so. I find comfort in laughter.

There's a lot of sad stuff on the Internet right now. You could get sucked in to heart-wrenching posts by Anissa Mayhew's wonderful husband as he documents their family's struggle as dear Anissa tries to recover from her strokes. We can't help but be drawn to tragedy and the wonderful thing about reading and/or writing blogs is that it makes you feel like a piece of that story is yours, that you're connected in some way to these random strangers. And that means you should be able to help, whether it's donating money or sending positive healing vibes, you actually can help a little bit. Isn't that awesome? Isn't that a bright light?

There's also lots of happy stuff on the Internet right now. My dear friend Kristin is in love. Correction: IN LOVE! With a gorgeous man (who likes cats and sleeveless shirts). See! You don't know her, but if you've meandered over to her blog via mine over the years, you might care. And that's cool.

I'm here to tell you that it's cool to care.

It's totally cool, no matter what your friends and colleagues think, to sit at your desk and root for Nadine's marriage. Because when you do, somehow, it works. Nadine's marriage bounds back miraculously. When you wish for Kristin's happiness, she gets it. And maybe if we pray for this woman Anissa, whom I don't know and am totally not friends with directly, to get well and go home to her family, she will.

It's worth a try no? It's certainly better than what I used to do, which was stay up all night worrying about the end of the world and how I would survive a Cormac McCarthy existence. Totally better than researching the heck out of H1N1 and wondering whether to take the fucking shot or not.

I don't totally know the answers to happiness or why we're here, but I'm kind of a hippie at heart (a hippie who likes pretty things; I guess that makes me a BoBo -- Bohemian Bourgeousie?) and I think that the paths to both lie somewhere in love. Loving yourself, loving the moment even when it's shitty, and loving life, including the people in it that you don't really know.

And it's OK to put it out to the Universe that you need help too. Not because there's some magic fucking secret, but because by announcing it, you're taking a step to start on a new road. When you send me an email from across the world telling me your story, or you comment from up the street that my words made a difference in your day, I don't know what that's called, but I know it's positive. I know it's good for you. I know because that's the road I've been on, and it's this weird invisible two-way relationship that we have that has helped to heal me.

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When I started this blog, all I wanted to do was make people laugh. And I haven't been very funny lately, because I've been realizing that the root of the funny was a lot of negativity about my family, which then just... actualized? Perpetrated itself? Whatever. My point is that there are so many blogs we've read over the years, including this one, where celebrating your shortcomings was a good thing. I will still be able to laugh at myself and share that with you I hope, but I can no longer do it in a way that's detrimental to me.

Yeah, motherhood sucks sometimes. That was revolutionary 5 years ago. But we get it. It's still OK to complain on occasion and to laugh at the funny in the crap, but really, we forget how truly lucky we all are to be able to enjoy this beautiful, fucked up life.

Our kids are a gift. They teach us how unimportant 90% of adult life is. They show us the beauty in ordinary things. And sometimes they annoy the fucking hell out of us. But their root is love. OK, and maybe candy.

I leave you with this bit of joy. I've watched it oh, 10 times already. It's the animated holiday display windows at Printemps, a high end department store in Paris. I swear it's the cutest thing you'll see this week. I can't embed it for whatever reason, but here's the link.