Down with Sickness

First it was that runny nose that made us think her molars must be coming in.

Then it turned to pink eye.

Then she had some funky green that appeared to be coming out her hoo-ha.

I thought it was nothing. I figured that she had so much mucous it had to come out somewhere.

I polled my mom friends with daughters. No one had heard of such a thing. Still, I let it go.

On Mother's Day she was so sick and clingy that I could go nowhere. She had a fever, I was mildly concerned.

My mother, on the other hand, was mega concerned. "She definitely has to be seen by a doctor!"

After two days of being cooped up in my house with a daughter that would not leave my arms and a son that needed to act out because Mommy was giving all the attention to Lucy, I was done. My brain was fried.

"I'll just make a quick call to Telehealth," I said, partially to appease my worried-looking parents; thinking that the nurse would say it's no big deal.

The nurse was stuck on green stuff out the hoo-ha. "That doesn't sound right. She needs to see a doctor in the next four hours." We raced to the Children's Clinic. The doors were locked. I'd missed last call by 10 minutes. The attendant told me to go to emerg.

Fuck. Fuckity Fuck Fuck.

Great, I thought, now we're all going to get swine flu for this thing that's probably nothing. Then the panic devil that sits on my irrational side said, "Wait. Maybe she has an e-coli infection from jumping in Lake Ontario last weekend. Maybe you're a bad mother..."

In the hospital triage she touched everything. Every potentially swine flu covered object was interesting to her. So she touched them. And then she stuck her hands in her mouth for good measure. They gave her Tylenol for her fever. This made her hyper and before long she was running through triage, lying on the floor and then hi-fiving every potential swine flu victim in there.

Greeeeeat.

J called to see if he should go grocery shopping while I waited. I told him my anxiety couldn't handle that. I needed his company to keep me sane. He arrived to find her sliding down a mini slide in the kids' waiting room and then dancing a jig when she saw him. I looked like a moron.

The doctor finally looked at her three hours later. Viral infection. Just what I thought. Happy Mother's Day to me. I got to be right. Bloody hell.

We are on day 70-some-odd of the snots and the crustiness and I am so. over. it. She's approaching the terrible twos with lightening speed and this crap isn't helping. We've been indulging her sweet sick self with ample TV time, all kinds of night time visits, juice -- all the bad stuff. Over the next few weeks there will be a reckoning my friends. Here's hoping I'm not the one waving the white flag at the end.