Sunday, April 20, 2008


The Earth is experiencing her renaissance again. Each day as I watch the buds form on the heaping trees in my yard, I am reminded that Spring is a time of rebirth for every living species on this planet. Including me.

This morning, father and son tenderly assembled patio furniture on our deck. I fed our newest bud the purée du jour so she would blossom into the flower she's meant to be. I thought back to a year ago, the anticipation of her arrival, the early kicks. The secret of her identity.

The sun shone on our smiling faces this morning, reminding me that our fights are petty and what we have is so precious. Soon, when the leaf canopy fills in, we won't have to squint as we stare into each other's eyes.

We had dinner at my in-laws, the first burgers of the season. Baby girl was passed from lap to lap as she gurgled and drooled and made everyone fall in love. "Wow! She's so big," said the neighbour.

We made a motion to leave. We're responsible parents now and need to address bathtimes and bedtimes. So the fifth beer was put on ice as we gathered our children and our things.

"I'm not going anywhere," came a taunting, defiant wee voice. "Can I stay here?" He is a boy now. He decides when to go, when to stay, when there is unfinished business that needs attending to. We told him he needs to ask Grandma. He approached her with the sweetest of coy looks. "Grandma, can I stay here tonight?" She is helpless against his cuteness.

He is growing, growing and soon he'll be grown. One day he will use those same eyes to convince a woman to spend the night. It will happen just as quickly as the filling in of the trees. One day there is nothing, the next a bud. Then bam! The most beautiful, vital, mature paean to living you've ever seen.

"Bye Mom," he says casually. Before you know it, it will be autumn and they will leave me with an empty tree.

For now, I watch the buds and pray for time to be kind.

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