I've often wondered how it would go down when I finally managed to succumb to sickness with two kids. In these... hmm... fantasies doesn't seem appropriate here, nor does daydreams... anyway, whenever I thought about this scenario, there was one crucial part to it -- The Dog would be around to deal with the chaos.
After being on Snot Patrol for a week, it was inevitable that I would go down. After five days of feverish three-year-old and his neediness, I turned to homeopathy to help get rid of his virus. The result was a violent expulsion of mucous. Sneezes that ended up in globby, green messes on the floor and, of course, on me.
My sister has been listening to a Deepak Chopra audio book and after Model on Wednesday we were discussing the power of mind over matter. I really tried. I really, really tried to ignore the snot showers. I pretended that they didn't harm me, but it was no use. On Thursday when the Dog got a flat tire on his bike, right after a well-deserved hot shower on my part, I had no choice but to go out with wet hair and pick him up. I'm sure I caught a chill.
Friday morning I woke up to a sore throat, but I chalked it up to three bottles of wine the night before and went on with the day. Plus, Nate was still so ill and clingy, that there was no time to think of myself. But I knew it was coming. Because after I sent the kids to my mom's ahead of me, I had to drive the Dog to the airport.
That's right. He's away. As in, NOT HERE. And I am so farking sick. I am sick to the point that I can barely stand, barely open my eyes and I just wanted to sleep all day. I most certainly did not want to breastfeed a baby, wipe projectile snot off a preschooler, or force aforementioned preschooler to use the potty all day. Thank heaven I am at my mother's.
The Dog is off to Edmonton. Our friends there are getting divorced and it's sad. So the Dog is consoling his much-loved friend with beer and disc-golf and talk about wrestlers and how they played Dungeons and Dragons when they were 14. It's sad to know that a 6-year marriage is dissolving over differences that don't seem so irreconcilable from the outside. I admire that the Dog would fly so far to be there for a friend. But the other half of me wants to throttle him for running off to have fun while I'm up to my armpits in sick.
In the midst of child-minding today, I almost passed out. Nate was desperate to sit on my lap to force Lucy, who was nursing, off. When he is in these moods, he gets so furious when I nurse his sister. It's brutal on days when you don't have the patience for it -- and neither does he. So after I fed her in a very half-assed way and passed her to my mom, I tried to run away to the guest room where I sleep and shut the door. I just needed to lie down and be alone and pretend that no one needed me for 30 minutes.
A mega melt-down ensued and no matter what my mom tried, Nate would not relent. "Fine, you can go lie down next to your mommy -- but don't you dare touch her!" my mother scolded.
Nate came into my room and crawled into bed next to me. I was crying. I needed to take care of myself. Could I not get a moment's peace? Even though there are so many hands here to help, the side effect of attachment parenting Nate is that he is up my ass all the time. He wants no one else but me.
I feel horrible for poor Lucy, who has done nothing wrong, but only gets mum for a few minutes to have a quick drink. She is always being passed off to someone else in times like these and though she goes happily, I feel guilty about it. Because I know she will be the reverse. She will be too independent for my comfort and that's going to cause static when she's 16.
Anyway, Nate nestled against my body with his back to me. I was feeling so sorry for myself. I took his hand and placed it on my cheek, hoping to get some comfort from his soft paw. He looked at me earnestly, with those big eyes, and said, "Ya-Ya told me not to touch you. So I'm twying to keep my hands to myself!"
Well who could not laugh at that? And though my head felt like Baghdad, I held him close and we fell asleep in each others' arms. Maybe there's a little life in these sails yet.
In other news, I think Kate has had or is having her baby. As in right now. Finally. I talked to her stomach on the phone yesterday and basically said, "Hey there, this is your Auntie Nad. Get the fuck out. It's time." I think it worked. I got a cryptic text around 4 pm that said something about contractions and tired and hospital. So I'm going to guess they were on their way. Exciting!