Monday, September 25, 2006

6. Bizzarro Land

Rob returns and tells us his night just got weird. That's my cue to go home. I've spent too many nights in what I call "Bizzarro Land" wondering how the fuck I got there. At 32, I've smartened up. Call it maternal instinct. We tell Rob we'll walk him to the next bar where Author X, et al, have gone. He deserves it a bang up night in Toronto. His first book is a national bestseller. So thanks MFM fans. I'm sure you had a lot to do with it.

Success is a seductress and the devil often visits in a beautiful form. And sure enough the groupies arrived. "Come one Rob! We're going. Teeheehee." They must've been English majors or something. Two young things from the group of revellers. They were dragging him out to the tune of karaoke Dean Martin. "Teeheehee. Tell your friends to come too!"

"No, I gotta be up early for KinderYoga," my self-deprecating friend Marla uttered.
"Yoga? Shyah! I've got yoga in the morning too! That's not stopping me from going!" Clearly her university education did not include Comprehension. We said our goodbyes to Rob, and as we were walking away, Young Thing #2 whispered to Young Thing #1 and all we heard was, "KinderYoga? Hahahahahahahahaha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! KinderYoga! Hahahahahahahaha!"

We both looked back in horror, only to find them bowled over the cab with laughter. They couldn't breathe sort of laughter. We picked up the pace and put our tails between our legs. We were Mommed.

"I wish that yeast infection a fucking painful childbirth," I muttered as I put the keys in the ignition. I shouldn't have been so bitter. She was heading off into Bizzarro Land after all, and I was going home with a good story.

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