This post may make me unpopular.
Like anything underground that becomes mainstream, blogging, frankly, is starting to suck. The niche of mom blogging, especially, is fucking weird. Because it's female driven, there's a lot of bullshit underlying politics. Everyone tries to act like it's all "sister, sister" but there are camps, there are cool girls, and damn you if you read but don't comment! When I started this blog two years ago, you could just read freely, write when you had the time and comment when you wanted. Now, as the popularity of blogging has increased, so has the clique-y-ness of bloggers.
The rules have changed. Oh sure, no one's openly written the rules, but they are there. And you don't have to go to too many sites to figure it out. You must write long posts every day (try to make them as intelligent and essay-like as possible) visit 25 other mom blogs a day, comment on them at least once and make sure you not only read the posts, but all the comments other people have left too. I can see why so many people remain lurkers and non-bloggers. It's way easier to just enjoy blogs behind the scenes than to be out in the open with your thoughts and feelings. Because once you are putting yourself out there, you start to wonder who's out there receiving the message.
The concept of an audience can be highly addictive. You check your Site Meter obsessively. (Don't lie, you know you do) You get worried when people don't leave comments. You get bummed out when you don't make people's lists. You start comparing yourself to other writers. You stay up late to get your reading and commenting quota in. It's fucked. It starts to feel like high school all over again. And I am just too bloody tired to try to be cool enough to make the cheerleading squad.
So I'll just stick to the yearbook committee thanks. I'll be here, continuing to document my journey as a mom when I can. If you like what you read, come on back when you have the time. If you want to sign my yearbook, cool. But if not, I'll be at the back of the class, wearing black, hiding behind my hair, watching the drama unfold as I write down my thoughts in my notebook.
My thoughts on getting this award