Sunday, October 03, 2004


Of all the things that I could possibly forget with this pregnant brain (my keys, the pass to get into my office building, my lunch...) last night I actually forgot one of the most important people in my life -- my sister!

I have to admit that I am forgetful and not 100% reliable at the best of times, but I have been very bad as of late. I need to write everything down 3 times and set reminders in Outlook for the simplest of tasks (read: eat lunch) these days. But yesterday, I was a total bonehead. And part of it seems to be passing on to my equally absent-minded husband.

It all started in the morning. After months of arguing and planning, yesterday was the day that we finally were going to re-arrange this small downtown apartment to make room for Baby. In the morning we overslept, then rushed out to get the rental van. All fine, went over without a hitch, except they made us panic that we weren't covered under our insurance and we spent $25 buying their extra bullcrap insurance. Whatever, I got over that. Ignorance can often cost you money -- which might be why we're so broke all the time.

The plan was for the Dog and Blondie's boyfie, CrowN, to load up the van with our old double bed and my bike and take them up to my parents ' place for storage. The Dog was anxious and loaded the van himself before CrowN and Blondie even got here. He forgot to get my bike. I wasn't fully awake yet and so I wasn't dilligent as the "project manager". If I were on The Apprentice , I woulda been "FIRED".

Even though I had the route planned out for all the van drop offs and pick ups, and had spoken to him and emailed him about "the plan" several times over the past weeks, I did not go over the plan the morning of. The crib and the new queen bed we finally bought were to be picked up at warehouses which were in close proximity to one another. The Dog picked up the crib and forgot the bed. He headed straight to my parent's place -- a significant distance away before realizing he forgot the bed. This probably put him an hour to an hour and half off the time the whole thing shoulda taken. He also forgot to pick up the rocking chair from my folks' place.

Anyway, during that time, Blondie and I got the apartment ready for the new stuff. Sista Sunshine had slept over the night before and was getting ready for a long night of work at the store. She was planning to meet me back at the house around midnight so I could let her in. I am an idiot and have never cut her a set of keys, if you can believe it. The boys finally make it back, Gievious and his boyfie come over too to help and we manage to get everything in and assembled. I am exhausted at this point. My tiny bedrom is now an office, the Dog's office is now our bedroom (we should have done this sooner - it's awesome!) and what used to be my Paris-themed walk-in-closet is now a nursery. What an overhaul!

So of course, we have plans to see a baseball game at 4 pm the same day. Like that was gonna happen. What were we thinking? We break plans with C-Dig as a result. Boo. I also have dinner plans this same night with former co-workers at 7 pm. This I make it to. I love this crowd and have a blast as a result. At 11:20 pm I call the Dog, who is at another party for a friend moving back to Panama. The Dog tells me to cab it to the party. I get to the party at midnight, only to see Sista Sunshine show up with a mega-pissed look on her face. I totally f*cking forgot she was coming over!

To make it worse, the Dog had spoken to her around 11 and forgot to tell me about it when I called him. Bad bad bad. Apparently he remembered after he talked to me (he was drunk) and called SS to meet us in Parkdale (a kinda of sketch, but cool part of Toronto) . So she caused a scene and left in a waiting cab. The next morning we had a huge blowout, full tears and all. I am an ass. I felt horrible the whole day. I haven't been making her a priority in my life at all. And she is a priority. She's in my top 5, my tier A fave people. But not making plans with someone close to you is one thing. Forgetting about them and leaving them stranded is quite another. I'm an ass.

A long talk with Queen Nomad reminds me what a shitty friend I can be. If the Top 5 are my priority, why am I neglecting them for Tier B and C friends and acquaintances? And what am I trying to prove by making so many plans all the time? I'm not 21 anymore! As Queen Nomad said, "Most people, when they move.... they rent a movie and order a pizza afterwards -- that's it." I was so exhausted that my brain wasn't functioning. But in a way, I'm glad it happened, because it taught me a lesson I have to learn: SLOW DOWN.

I am finding it difficult, as the due date comes closer, to close the book on Party Girl somewhat. I want to get all the parties in before I won't be able to or want to go to them anymore. I'm am afraid of growing up, of losing my cool. But I am making it hard on myself and the people I love the most as a result. Time is ticking. And I'm slowly learning to be OK with that.

If any of you are going through a similar thing in your own lives, leave me a comment below.


Anonymous said...

shit, yeah. (read apologies here.) only mine doesn't have legs and a heartbeat.

we're all just lucky to have you in our lives, momma. whether it's tier A, B or make an impact on all who know you, and we all know how important, thus busy, you are. i don't think you need to make rationalizations or apologies.

life takes us along and forces us to change as we go. i think we all understand that, but it does hurt sometimes.


Anonymous said...

Listen, we ALL have moments where we are a crap friend to the ones we care about the most ... it does NOT mean that we're shit friends, you learn and you get better. You're a great friend and I wouldn't trade you for the world buddy.